I am bald but my baldness doesn’t define who I am. I got it. Today I embrace me, all of me. Laying aside the shame, the insecurities and I am choosing to begin the journey of being confident and joyous in who I really am, bald head and all. Today I did something that I didn’t think I would have had the courage to do before. I got up in front of a room of about 50 women and as the warm tears flowed down my cheeks I took off my wig and showed them ME . They didn’t laugh. They didn’t whisper and tear me down. Instead they cried. They cheered. They embraced. They praised God. They spoke life. THEY LOVED ME, the real me.
This was a defining moment in my life. I took a stance against the enemy and my actions screamed at him, letting him know that I choose to no longer be bound by the shame he wants me to have. In that moment I unlocked some of the chains from my past that still had me bound and I CHOSE TO walk in another level of freedom that Jesus has already purchased for me. In that moment there was a greater level of death to the old me and birth was given to something new. I am not saying that I will never wear wigs again as I wait for healing to manifest BUT I now have a new perspective!
I have always been overly concerned with what others think of me. I always have to put my best foot forward. I have to please. I have to be liked. Filled with pride. The same symptoms that lead to my very bald head. I began to loose my hair because I put too much stress on it with chemicals and weaves. When I first began to loose my hair, the thought of giving up chemicals was not even an option. Why? Because the real me of course was not good enough, not cute enough, no way could I let others see me in my natural state. Deep rooted insecurities birth from past experiences.
Hear me when I say that this is not about whether or not you should put chemicals or extension in your hair. Doing these things pointed to a deeper issue FOR ME (this may not be the case for everyone). When I was told by a dermatologist to stop putting chemicals in my hair, I scoffed at the idea. Go natural and show everyone me, absolutely not. Driven by insecurities and pride I continued the vicious cycle of destroying my hair follicles until they shut down and well, I was left bald with no other option but to wear wigs.
BUT MY GOD IS SO AWESOME. Through a chain of painful events, the healing process began. I have prayed and stood in faith believing the Lord to supernaturally restore my hair. Its nothing for God to just touch my scalp and have hair appear. However, I recognize that God is more concerned about me getting the lesson than the blessing. The blessing can be fleeting but once I get the lesson its lasting and can be applied to other areas of my life guaranteeing more victory. Unveiling my bald head today was necessary for my healing. It went so much deeper than taking off my wig. I was taking off the shame, the hurt from the past, insecurities, conflicting thoughts. I now have even more faith to believe the Lord for restoration of my hair because today inward healing took place and I rejoice!
What is it that you have to take off for healing to begin? A new level of freedom awaits you when you do.
So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free. John 8:36
About the Author
Hello there! I am Anika and I am definitely one of those. Passion oozes from every fiber of my being. I love to love. Sounds cheesy, I know, but I already told you that I am one of those kinds of people. Read on to find out some more interesting facts about me… 1. I love me some Jesus. I love to testify and if you hang around me long enough you may hear me bragging on the awesomeness of God, like how • He gave me a house I couldn't afford • Healed two of my children • Gave me a yes when I wanted to say no 2. I married a younger man…OK, not really. I was 23 while he was 22. My birthday is in April and his in August, but it’s our running joke. Nevertheless, after 13 years of marriage, I happen to love him deeply, and it still makes for a great story. 3. I have experienced the pain of two miscarriages and the joy of delivering 6 children (3 boys and 3 girls). I have both a bachelors and masters degree from the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign in Early Childhood Education, which I put to good use staying home with the kiddos. 4. I attend an awesome church where my husband is the Assistant Pastor. I am also a part of a not for profit organization that encourages women to walk in their God given purpose. 5. I am addicted to prayer. 6. I am considered nice by most, definitely extreme by design. I am politically incorrect. 7. I take the scenic route when telling a story, but I promise if you hang on long enough, I eventually get to the punch line. 8. I have great ideas but I sometimes procrastinate. Jesus and I are working on that one. 9. I am guilty of overthinking things (refer to number 8). 10. I am originally from Jamaica. Surprise…sunshine and coconuts are two of my favorite things. 11. I subscribe to the Paleo Diet and actually did a round of Whole 30. 12. I love to experiment in the kitchen. 13. I make an absolute mess when I cook. I try to clean as I go but get distracted with cooking. Go figure. (My family doesn't always enjoy my cooking but I make them eat it anyway.) 14. I love people and enjoy talking to them—even the weird ones. I tried being otherwise but found it doesn't suit me well, so I'm learning to be okay with being me. 15. I have traction alopecia and wear wigs and am crazy enough to believe God for restoring my hair follicles even though the doctors have said otherwise. 16. A movie is considered good only if it makes me cry...more than once. Sound of Music happens to be my all time favorite. 17. I really wish I sang well. I really don't. 18. Telling people about Jesus is my favorite past time. And if I'm not talking about Him, I'm talking about my family or some random health fact I learned on Google. 19. I love redemption stories and happy endings, that’s why I said yes to Jesus. Feel like you know me a little more? Well good! Please continue to stop by my little corner of cyber world. And do leave a comment. Remember I love to talk to people!