No Pretending Honest Prayers

I used to be really good at playing pretend but then I got tired.  Somewhere along the road, I realized that playing games can get real old.

When I stopped pretending, that’s when I learned how to pray

Stop pretending that everything is ok when it is not

Stop pretending like it doesn’t hurt when it does

Stop pretending that I want to do the right thing when everything in me is screaming go left

Stop pretending like I am perfect.  Oh you already knew…I am not

So I pray

Real prayer

No script

No pretense

Honest I don’t want to do it God

This is just not fair God

How come God?

Child to parent dialogue

My Good Good Father…He listens

I cry

I whisper the darkest secrets of my heart

Thoughts I didn’t even know where there, ugly thoughts

Prayer is my therapy, I unload the burden

He continues to listens

Yes I have a really good father… I am blessed like that

I am learning He is not looking for an act

He requires honesty

The kind of honesty that scares nice church folks

Yep I know the right answer… I shouldn’t think like that

But what happens when I do

Confession:  And I sometimes do

I pray

Honest Prayers

No pretense cause that’s outdated and ineffective

In honest prayers, I am not the only one that speaks

My good good father he response

With love

With His truth

He knows that even in my brokenness

Even in my humanity

I have said Yes to His will, Yes to Him being Lord of my life

A Yes I won’t take back

So in my no pretending prayer

He molds me

He refreshes me

He reminds me

He corrects me

He fills me again with His spirit,

Bringing an even greater death to Anika

How about you over there, have you been praying no pretending prayers?  Or is it difficult for you to share the ugly parts of you with God?  Leave a comment and let me know.

 

 

8 thoughts on “No Pretending Honest Prayers”

  1. Sandra says:

    Sometimes I get pretty angry with God when I pray. Especially when it seems things are not working the way I hoped they would. I would like to think I am being honest but there are other times when I leave something out that I feel ashamed of. Is that a form of dishonesty? What they call being economical with the truth. Some would say it is a form of lying because I have not shared with Him all of the truth. Would you agree?

    1. Kimberly Parker says:

      Bless you sister. God’s grace be upon you!

      1. Anika Jones says:

        Amen to that prayer Kimberly. God bless you as well!

    2. Anika Jones says:

      Sandra, I would not necessarily label withholding information from God in prayer as lying. Depending on our past experiences, trust can be a real issue. It takes time to build a relationship…even with our creator. I can understand your concern, I have been there a time or ten :). One scripture that helped me to tell God all is Psalm 139. This Psalm reminds me that God knows my thoughts before I think them, my words before I speak them. Knowing this helped to lift whatever self-imposed restrictions I had put on what I shared with God in prayer. I know too well the feeling of being ashamed, hesitating to pour my heart out to God. But that’s just it, God lovingly invites me to cast my cares on Him. Why? Because He cares for me and He cares for you! (1 Peter 5:7). Share it all with Jesus, you can be completely vulnerable before Him. He is a safe place! (Proverbs 18:10). I pray that this year will find you in a new place of freedom in Christ Jesus! Blessings to you!

  2. Donielle says:

    Amen.

  3. Kimberly Parker says:

    Dear Lord,
    I pray to you that you continue to mold me, have the love for me to refresh me, the patience to remind me, the convictions to correct me and that you continue to fill me, again,with your spirit. I’m continually born again, through your holy spirit as I walk with you in your light everlasting!

    Amen
    Thank you dear Jesus

  4. Keep striving to be met in your realness with God.

    1. Anika Jones says:

      Amen!

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