No Pretending Honest Prayers

January 20, 2016

I used to be really good at playing pretend but then I got tired.  Somewhere along the road, I realized that playing games can get real old.

When I stopped pretending, that’s when I learned how to pray

Stop pretending that everything is ok when it is not

Stop pretending like it doesn’t hurt when it does

Stop pretending that I want to do the right thing when everything in me is screaming go left

Stop pretending like I am perfect.  Oh you already knew…I am not

So I pray

Real prayer

No script

No pretense

Honest I don’t want to do it God

This is just not fair God

How come God?

Child to parent dialogue

My Good Good Father…He listens

I cry

I whisper the darkest secrets of my heart

Thoughts I didn’t even know where there, ugly thoughts

Prayer is my therapy, I unload the burden

He continues to listens

Yes I have a really good father… I am blessed like that

I am learning He is not looking for an act

He requires honesty

The kind of honesty that scares nice church folks

Yep I know the right answer… I shouldn’t think like that

But what happens when I do

Confession:  And I sometimes do

I pray

Honest Prayers

No pretense cause that’s outdated and ineffective

In honest prayers, I am not the only one that speaks

My good good father he response

With love

With His truth

He knows that even in my brokenness

Even in my humanity

I have said Yes to His will, Yes to Him being Lord of my life

A Yes I won’t take back

So in my no pretending prayer

He molds me

He refreshes me

He reminds me

He corrects me

He fills me again with His spirit,

Bringing an even greater death to Anika

How about you over there, have you been praying no pretending prayers?  Or is it difficult for you to share the ugly parts of you with God?  Leave a comment and let me know.

 

 

Anika Jones

About the Author

Anika Jones

Anika Jones is a speaker and author of the book Lessons Learned Along The Way: A 40 Day Devotional. She blogs about faith and family at LivingForLater.com and posts weekly videos on her YouTube channels, Living For Later (@livingforlater) and Living Life Now (@livinglifenow). Anika loves speaking about developing intimacy with God and understanding who we are in Christ. She serves alongside her husband in ministry. They live in Illinois with their 6 children.