No Pretending Honest Prayers
I used to be really good at playing pretend but then I got tired. Somewhere along the road, I realized that playing games can get real old.
When I stopped pretending, that’s when I learned how to pray
Stop pretending that everything is ok when it is not
Stop pretending like it doesn’t hurt when it does
Stop pretending that I want to do the right thing when everything in me is screaming go left
Stop pretending like I am perfect. Oh you already knew…I am not
So I pray
Real prayer
No script
No pretense
Honest I don’t want to do it God
This is just not fair God
How come God?
Child to parent dialogue
My Good Good Father…He listens
I cry
I whisper the darkest secrets of my heart
Thoughts I didn’t even know where there, ugly thoughts
Prayer is my therapy, I unload the burden
He continues to listens
Yes I have a really good father… I am blessed like that
I am learning He is not looking for an act
He requires honesty
The kind of honesty that scares nice church folks
Yep I know the right answer… I shouldn’t think like that
But what happens when I do
Confession: And I sometimes do
I pray
Honest Prayers
No pretense cause that’s outdated and ineffective
In honest prayers, I am not the only one that speaks
My good good father he response
With love
With His truth
He knows that even in my brokenness
Even in my humanity
I have said Yes to His will, Yes to Him being Lord of my life
A Yes I won’t take back
So in my no pretending prayer
He molds me
He refreshes me
He reminds me
He corrects me
He fills me again with His spirit,
Bringing an even greater death to Anika
How about you over there, have you been praying no pretending prayers? Or is it difficult for you to share the ugly parts of you with God? Leave a comment and let me know.
About the Author
Anika Jones
Anika Jones is a speaker and author of the book Lessons Learned Along The Way: A 40 Day Devotional. She blogs about faith and family at LivingForLater.com and posts weekly videos on her YouTube channels, Living For Later (@livingforlater) and Living Life Now (@livinglifenow). Anika loves speaking about developing intimacy with God and understanding who we are in Christ. She serves alongside her husband in ministry. They live in Illinois with their 6 children.