All about me syndrome

As I sit and reflect, I see how selfish I used to be (a tendency I suspect I will have to continue to fight). It was all about Anika.  I must admit that I hit the panic button more than once.  Why?

I feared that things would not work out the way I WANTED them to.  I chose to worry and not trust.

Forgiveness was hard because it was all about how much they hurt ME. Roots of bitterness were established.

Consistent hospitality was a challenge because it meant that I would be inconvenienced. I became annoyed when you were in my space uninvited and stayed longer than I wanted.

Hearing “no” or “wait” to a prayer request was difficult because I didn’t like the idea of not getting MY WAY.  I whined and complained and looked for ways to answer my own prayers.

In short my actions proved that I struggled with the ALL ABOUT ME syndrome.

So what has changed?  I am now at a place of greater surrender.  I am learning to get out of the way and not become my own God.

The scales continue to fall from my eyes.  I see myself and realize that it is not always someone else’s fault.  I am learning to admit my guilt and say sorry from a sincere heart.  Pride is being replaced with humility.

I am learning to keep the doors of my heart and home open. There is so much beauty and joy in fellowship and vulnerability.

I am learning that WAIT is not a bad word. Much is learned in the process.  I learn to worship from a pure heart.  I see God in new ways and I fall deeper in love. Gratitude becomes the song of my heart.  In the waiting I learn that He is enough. SIMPLY ENOUGH.

I am learning that real freedom comes when I imitate Christ, taking the focus off of myself, and making it all about God’s will.  How about you, do you struggle with the all about me syndrome?

 

4 thoughts on “All about me syndrome”

  1. Donielle says:

    Amen

    1. Anika Jones says:

      🙂

  2. Ron Coulter says:

    Lady Anika,

    You might want to consider writing a book with excerpts from each one of your blogs (based on category of course). This short but direct blog is like taking medicine that is good for me but I didn’t think was for me. Great job Dr. Anika

    1. Anika Jones says:

      Thank you for the words of of encouragement. I have actually began the process of writing a book…please keep me in your prayers! 🙂

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