All about me syndrome

As I sit and reflect, I see how selfish I used to be (a tendency I suspect I will have to continue to fight). It was all about Anika.  I must admit that I hit the panic button more than once.  Why?

I feared that things would not work out the way I WANTED them to.  I chose to worry and not trust.

Forgiveness was hard because it was all about how much they hurt ME. Roots of bitterness were established.

Consistent hospitality was a challenge because it meant that I would be inconvenienced. I became annoyed when you were in my space uninvited and stayed longer than I wanted.

Hearing “no” or “wait” to a prayer request was difficult because I didn’t like the idea of not getting MY WAY.  I whined and complained and looked for ways to answer my own prayers.

In short my actions proved that I struggled with the ALL ABOUT ME syndrome.

So what has changed?  I am now at a place of greater surrender.  I am learning to get out of the way and not become my own God.

The scales continue to fall from my eyes.  I see myself and realize that it is not always someone else’s fault.  I am learning to admit my guilt and say sorry from a sincere heart.  Pride is being replaced with humility.

I am learning to keep the doors of my heart and home open. There is so much beauty and joy in fellowship and vulnerability.

I am learning that WAIT is not a bad word. Much is learned in the process.  I learn to worship from a pure heart.  I see God in new ways and I fall deeper in love. Gratitude becomes the song of my heart.  In the waiting I learn that He is enough. SIMPLY ENOUGH.

I am learning that real freedom comes when I imitate Christ, taking the focus off of myself, and making it all about God’s will.  How about you, do you struggle with the all about me syndrome?

 

Anika Jones

About the Author

Anika Jones

Anika Jones is a speaker and author of the book Lessons Learned Along The Way: A 40 Day Devotional. She blogs about faith and family at LivingForLater.com and posts weekly videos on her YouTube channels, Living For Later (@livingforlater) and Living Life Now (@livinglifenow). Anika loves speaking about developing intimacy with God and understanding who we are in Christ. She serves alongside her husband in ministry. They live in Illinois with their 6 children.