All about me syndrome
As I sit and reflect, I see how selfish I used to be (a tendency I suspect I will have to continue to fight). It was all about Anika. I must admit that I hit the panic button more than once. Why?
I feared that things would not work out the way I WANTED them to. I chose to worry and not trust.
Forgiveness was hard because it was all about how much they hurt ME. Roots of bitterness were established.
Consistent hospitality was a challenge because it meant that I would be inconvenienced. I became annoyed when you were in my space uninvited and stayed longer than I wanted.
In short my actions proved that I struggled with the ALL ABOUT ME syndrome.
So what has changed? I am now at a place of greater surrender. I am learning to get out of the way and not become my own God.
The scales continue to fall from my eyes. I see myself and realize that it is not always someone else’s fault. I am learning to admit my guilt and say sorry from a sincere heart. Pride is being replaced with humility.
I am learning to keep the doors of my heart and home open. There is so much beauty and joy in fellowship and vulnerability.
I am learning that WAIT is not a bad word. Much is learned in the process. I learn to worship from a pure heart. I see God in new ways and I fall deeper in love. Gratitude becomes the song of my heart. In the waiting I learn that He is enough. SIMPLY ENOUGH.
I am learning that real freedom comes when I imitate Christ, taking the focus off of myself, and making it all about God’s will. How about you, do you struggle with the all about me syndrome?
About the Author
Hello there! I am Anika and I am definitely one of those. Passion oozes from every fiber of my being. I love to love. Sounds cheesy, I know, but I already told you that I am one of those kinds of people. Read on to find out some more interesting facts about me… 1. I love me some Jesus. I love to testify and if you hang around me long enough you may hear me bragging on the awesomeness of God, like how • He gave me a house I couldn't afford • Healed two of my children • Gave me a yes when I wanted to say no 2. I married a younger man…OK, not really. I was 23 while he was 22. My birthday is in April and his in August, but it’s our running joke. Nevertheless, after 13 years of marriage, I happen to love him deeply, and it still makes for a great story. 3. I have experienced the pain of two miscarriages and the joy of delivering 6 children (3 boys and 3 girls). I have both a bachelors and masters degree from the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign in Early Childhood Education, which I put to good use staying home with the kiddos. 4. I attend an awesome church where my husband is the Assistant Pastor. I am also a part of a not for profit organization that encourages women to walk in their God given purpose. 5. I am addicted to prayer. 6. I am considered nice by most, definitely extreme by design. I am politically incorrect. 7. I take the scenic route when telling a story, but I promise if you hang on long enough, I eventually get to the punch line. 8. I have great ideas but I sometimes procrastinate. Jesus and I are working on that one. 9. I am guilty of overthinking things (refer to number 8). 10. I am originally from Jamaica. Surprise…sunshine and coconuts are two of my favorite things. 11. I subscribe to the Paleo Diet and actually did a round of Whole 30. 12. I love to experiment in the kitchen. 13. I make an absolute mess when I cook. I try to clean as I go but get distracted with cooking. Go figure. (My family doesn't always enjoy my cooking but I make them eat it anyway.) 14. I love people and enjoy talking to them—even the weird ones. I tried being otherwise but found it doesn't suit me well, so I'm learning to be okay with being me. 15. I have traction alopecia and wear wigs and am crazy enough to believe God for restoring my hair follicles even though the doctors have said otherwise. 16. A movie is considered good only if it makes me cry...more than once. Sound of Music happens to be my all time favorite. 17. I really wish I sang well. I really don't. 18. Telling people about Jesus is my favorite past time. And if I'm not talking about Him, I'm talking about my family or some random health fact I learned on Google. 19. I love redemption stories and happy endings, that’s why I said yes to Jesus. Feel like you know me a little more? Well good! Please continue to stop by my little corner of cyber world. And do leave a comment. Remember I love to talk to people!