There are parts of me that are fragile. Scarred from past hurts. I love God. I do. But sometimes I don’t look like He wants me to. He has been showing me things. About me. Ugly things that I have been carrying. Things I need to let go of to go to the next level. To be promoted. Things that I didn’t want to let go of…until now. Yes I have prayed about it before, but I still held on because I felt justified. But I recently found myself crying and confiding in God, “I don’t know how to let it go God, but I want to. I really do. It is too heavy. I don’t know how to let go of the pain, the offense, the hurt, the pride, false expectations, the jealously.” But then He whispered, ” you don’t have to let go in your own strength you just have to desire to be purged of these things, your desire for freedom invites me in to do my job….deliver.”
So I wept real hot tears. Tears of freedom. I felt the weight lifting, and I am being transformed…again. Always another level to go to but promotion always starts from the inside. It is freeing to surrender these insecurities and scars to God. No judgment, no condemnation from Him. Only pure love from my daddy. He is always gently confirming that He is worthy of my love.
So today I share my heart with you, not to glorify my weaknesses but to glorify a God who strengthens the weak. A God who understands the complexities of our past but challenges us to live beyond that because the blood of His son made it right. Made me new. I am making the choice to let go and move on.
My children excel in telling on each other. There are six of them, so there are many opportunities for disagreements throughout the course of the day. When things get a little rough, you can hear one of them shouting, “I am going to tell daddy/mommy on you.” When they feel they are losing the battle, they give up on arguing and run straight to either Tyrone or I to pour out their distress. When they tell on each other, they hold nothing back. Raw emotions are spilled out and no stone is left unturned. They are not worried about composure; how it looks or sounds. If the offense is great, there are even real hot crocodile tears.
What was suppoed to be a fun family project gone terribly wrong….and then the tears came.
If only we could take a page out of their book. Instead of fighting and trying to prove our point, defend ourselves, fight our own battles we should run and tell our heavenly father all about it in prayer. Tyrone and I may be annoyed at all the telling and rarely do we invite them to tell us all the Nitti gritty but not so with our heavenly father. He lovingly invites us to come. Tell Him all, hold nothing back in prayer. Cast It. Throw it. Give Him all of our worries to Him. Why? He cares for us. Lovingly and perfectly. He cares for me. He cares for you. Don’t worry about trying to find the words, just pour it all out to your daddy. Don’t try to hold back the tears, let them flow. Your tears and raw emotions are safe with Him. You can be vulnerable.
After the kids get through telling, we often ask them what their part in the offense was. Be prepared to hear and RECEIVE God’s response after you are done telling. God is masterful at showing us ourselves, things that we didn’t and would prefer not to see. He doesn’t show us to make us feel hopeless but rather that we will be transformed to be like Him. I often go telling on someone in prayer only for God to show me how I am also a guilty party in the matter. He shows me my need to repent, my need to see His perspective. Telling is as much about God correcting my offender as it is about God lovingly correcting me. So when you go telling, be humble enough to receive the response. Yes He comforts, but because we are His children, He also corrects.
So the next time that husband, that coworker, that child, that friend now turn enemy pushes don’t push back in your flesh, only complicating the matter. Run and go tell your daddy on them in prayer.
I have a confession to make. I have had more opportunities than I wanted to practice what I was preaching this week. My last post was about dropping to my knees in prayer, and boy was I fired up when I wrote it. I was one determined praying somebody.
Yes ma’am I was on a roll BUT THEN LIFE HAPPENED! Many things caught me off guard, just like life to do that. Each day this week I was challenged and by midweek I found myself pouting…more than once. I woke up this morning determined to get back in the game.
During devotion I read the story of Hannah from 1 Samuel 1 to the children. I told the kids that Hannah stopped pouting and decided to pray. She was in distress, life was not turning out the way she expected. Yes her husband loved her BUT she was barren. And to add insult to injury her husband’s other wife who had children taunted and constantly reminded her of her barrenness. Hannah was overwhelmed with pain. But she did something interesting with her pain and disappointment. She brought it to The Lord…in prayer. As she was pouring out her heart only her lips moved and Eli the priest saw and assumed she was drunk. That must have been a for real no holds bar, I ain’t even gonna pretend no more, this thing really hurts, I am desperate and broken Lord kind of prayer. Real pain birth real prayer. And there is something about real prayer that moves my daddy to action. He delights in a humble heart. Hannah received an answer of peace and she went away believing.
So here I am AGAIN this morning, embracing His new mercies, making a decision to earnestly pray and not pout. Resting in His answer of peace. And you?
It is the start of a new year and many including myself have health goals. Most have a few extra pounds to loose and a desire to be more toned. While I have put together an action plan to meet my goals, I have another method to drop a different kind of weight. This year I am gonna hit the floor more… on my knees in prayer to drop all the weight that is not mine to carry.
Before I go pulling out my violin and telling you all that’s wrong
Before I run to the pantry for a treat to calm my nerve and give me temporary relief
Before I get all worked up trying to explain and convince my husband of my point of view
Before I say yes when the answer should be no but I am looking for your approval
Before I start feeling discouraged that I have entered another year and I still have not seen the manifestation of hair growth that I desparately desire
Before I get burderened down with your situation and feel bad that I cant fix it and make it all better
BEFORE I DO ANY OF THAT…I am gonna drop to the floor and unload that weight in prayer.
Prayer is so POWERFUL when coupled with Faith.
It moves mountains.
It heals the sick.
It changes my perspective causing me to praise instead of complain, bringing peace to the storm.
It helps me to rejoice in ALL Things, even the bad.
It fuels my faith to speak those things that are not as though they were and then I stand back and watch GOD WORK IT OUT!
It gives me the inside scoop on God’s will for my life, and I come off my knees with such confidence and fierce faith!
Prayer is free therapy and you can rest assure that the therapist understand what you are going through, He’s been there and came out victorious. It is always convenient to pray, as a matter of fact we are told to pray at all times. God’s ears are always open to our cry. And when you earnestly pray, it produces great results. So… are you ready to hit the floor in prayer with me this year? Leave a comment below to let me know.
She was not sleepy, I just got her her up 30 minutes prior. She was not hungry she just gobbled down breakfast AND NO she was not wet. I changed her diaper right before she ate. But there was princess tugging at my leg demanding that I pick her up. Why? She is spoiled, very spoiled. All I could do was whisper in desperation, “Dear Lord please undo what we have done. ” You see Faith has a story and when God answered our prayers, we were overjoyed. We brought our miracle home and spoiled her… real good. Tyrone and I were not the only culprits. Her siblings stayed in her face. If she cried, there were six other pair of hands ready to rescue her, it was a team effort. And today we are dealing with the results.
How many other times have I prayed that same prayer when I felt the consequences of MY poor choices.
When I yell at my children in anger and unleash misdirected frustration at them. I see them deflate right before my eyes. I feel ashamed.
When I speak negatively of others and I later hear my children with the same critical tone. I am forced to look in the mirror.
When I have had one too many “deserved” treats and I am left feeling sluggish, cranky and quite round.
All of the above situations leave me asking the Lord to undo what I have done. I have learned that God won’t go back in time and undo my mess. However, all is not lost. When you have a surrendered heart, He provides the tools to move forward and the wisdom to make choices aligned with His will. My life testifies to the fact that repentance invites the Lord to masterfully redeem self inflicted pain.
So here we are at the close of 2014 and it is so easy to focus on all the mistakes, all your shortcomings, all the ” I knew better why did I?” Perhaps you are currently dealing with the painful consequences of choices that you made in 2014 that were out of God’s will. There is no sense of hope for the new year only regret for what’s behind.
If you have not done so already, Jesus is lovingly inviting you to come to Him. Repentance is liberating and His forgiveness is the sweetest medicine I have tasted. While others may condemn and remind you of your mistakes, it’s not so with my Jesus…this is my testimony. So with all the New Years resolution, won’t you put a yes to Jesus at the top of the list and watch Him redeem in 2015!
But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 1 John 1:9 NLT
This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 2 Corinthians 5:17 NLT
My floors were gross and in desperate need of cleaning. I passed on using the steam mop and chose to go the old fashioned route. Out came the bucket and rags as I got on my knees. My intention was to clean JUST the floors. However, being on my knees allowed me to see other areas that also needed to be cleaned…my walls, the legs of the table and chairs, the baseboards and the cabinets. Needless to say, I was on my knees a lot longer than intended, but the results were worth it.
Isn’t that how it is when we get on our knees in prayer? Admittedly, I have times when I just want to blow off some steam in prayer and get on with my daily agenda, but being in the presence of God brings all the “dirty” stuff to the surface. As I commune with Him in sincere prayer, He shows me areas where I have such things as unforgiveness, jealously, bitterness, and pride—areas that need some serious cleansing.
It is not enough to just get on my knees for a moment, but I must be willing to stay there longer than intended sometimes. I must enter into His presence with thanksgiving and be willing to be like my three year old, sometimes stuck on repeat, saying the same thing over and over again. “Thank you Lord for this…” “Thank you Lord for that…” “And for this and for that…” I must offer true praise, acknowledging who He is and what He has done for me. I have to get comfortable with crying out to God, telling Him all, withholding nothing. But it doesn’t stop at me sharing, I must be willing to have a dialogue and learn when it’s His turn to speak to me during prayer. I must be willing to stay on my knees as opposed to running away when He doesn’t answer the way I desire.
To get really ‘clean,’ I cannot rely on a quick “I’m just praying because this is what a Christian is supposed to do” kinda prayer. My life would be no cleaner than my kitchen, showing a surface cleaning. No, prayer must be a priority. After all, He is coming back for a church without “spot or wrinkle or any other blemish.”
Yes, it takes time but the results are a positively transformed life and greater connection with God and like the satisfaction I gained from my housekeeping duties, it is well worth it!