Category Archives for Prayer

Receiving the Grace of God

 

I can admit that I still struggle. Struggle to accept the grace of God. I have such a works mentality. Yesterday I missed my quiet time with the Lord. This was not intentional but baby number 6 got up earlier than usual and required my attention. I am almost ashamed to admit it but I was beating myself up for missing this time. I felt that somehow God was not gonna move on my behalf because I didn’t put in the “work” that morning. Therein lies the problem, there is too much of an emphasis on me doing as opposed to resting and receiving what Christ has already done. Gods grace is not to be abused or taken for granted, nor is it to be rejected…such a delicate balance. Yes we should strive to have daily communion with God, it is a great benefit to us and it pleases the Father. But we must not reject the grace of God when unpredictable moments happen; trust that the Lord sees and will honor the desire that we have to be in His presence.

Forgive Me

October 1, 2013

Take me to the place where I don’t matter. Take me to the place where I am not easily offended. An offense is often present when I think too much of myself…How dare they, do they know who I am? Consume me Lord. Fire of God burn it out. Restore every broken place. Take me to the place where I don’t even notice if I am not noticed! To that place where I am not waiting to hear my name mentioned. TO that place of not caring if I look or talk the part. TO that place where no one, not even me matters, ONLY YOU! God I am so far from that place and only you can bridge this gap. I know that you are not asking me to get to this place on my own, because in my strength it is impossible. You were waiting on me Lord. Waiting on me to desire true humility, waiting on me to be disgusted with pride, my personal pride. God hear the cry of my heart, the deepest places that no one else sees but you. All of you Lord and none of me. Here I am, forgive me.

Reminded

 

I’m amazed at how God can create strength during a season of difficulty. I was at the hospital last night visiting Faith (baby # 6) and I had an opportunity to connect with another mom whose son was also in neonatal intensive care unit (nicu). We swapped our stories and the stress associated with having a newborn in the nicu. We were both physically exhausted but God allowed her to see something in me beyond my physical exhaustion. She mentioned that it was evident that I had peace. Here I was physically and emotionally exhausted from running back and forth to the hospital while still trying to maintain some sense of normalcy for the other five children at home, but God allowed this women to see beyond that. She saw something that I couldn’t fabricate. He allowed her to see that He was the one carrying me and that His grace is sufficient . As I encouraged this distraught mom, I in turn began to be reminded of what I knew to be true, God is faithful! I told her of my past experience in the nicu with baby number 5, I told her the lessons I learned, I told her this was working for my good and there was a purpose in all of this. I spoke to her from a sincere place, not from what I heard or read but what I had experienced during my previous seasons of difficulty. I experienced God in a powerful way which birth a greater level of confidence. A confidence that radiates peace even when my body is weary. At the end of the conversation a prayer was said, tears were shed, and hugs were exchanged. I walked away with a renewed strength for the journey because I was reminded.

Difficulty is a thread that has been woven into my life but it has brought such a sweet return. Going through doesn’t feel good, it hurts and yes I have had moments of crying, feeling overwhelmed and being very emotional. I want my baby home with me and not in the hospital . But I cannot deny the beauty on the other side of suffering, and this time around, I am catching glimpses of beauty before the trial even ends. It seems like a contradiction, beauty for ashes? Very true, it’s my reality.

 

 

Addicted to Prayer

November 14, 2012

I must confess that I am addicted to prayer.  Not because I am super spiritual but because I am human with many frailties. I cannot function and my days seem to fall apart without prayer. I really am a hot mess without it, ask my husband and children.  There is just something about throwing myself at the feet of Jesus, telling Him all my unedited thoughts.  In prayer I don’t have to tell Him what I think He wants to hear.  I tell Him what I am really feeling, the good, the bad and the ugly.  Then I take Him up on His word and ask Him to fix me. Fix the mess, the pain and the hurt.

There are times when I just sit and cry but I am fully convinced that He understands the meaning of each tear.  While the cause of my pain may not immediately go away, just being in God’s presence crying like a baby gives me a peace beyond my understanding.  I leave with a confidence that it is going to be alright. I may not know how it will work out, but our time together reminds me that it will and all for my good.

Then there are those times I run to prayer begging the Lord to tell me that I am not crazy for standing in faith even though I feel bullied by doubt and all his buddies.  The times where the comments of others cause me to question if I am being too extreme, taking this faith thing a little too far.  Ever been there?  The times where I need to have the Lord comfort me and remind me that walking by faith will seem foolish to the world but it pleases Him, and in the end that’s all that matters.

I also have times of carrying the burdens of those I love, rolling over in my head how to fix them and their situation.  At times the burden leaves me paralyzed because I want to make it all better.   Then I am reminded that while I have no power to fix anything or anyone, I can pray.  I become even more confident when I remember that God hears my prayer and is able to change any situation, no matter how hopeless.  So I come to God on their behalf and do what I should have done in the first place…PRAY!

Then there are times where praise and adoration flow from my lips and I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving.  The more I rehearse His goodness, the more I become aware of how awesome He is and I don’t want the moment to stop. I look for the pause button in these moments of sweet communion, hoping the phone wont ring and the children will remain asleep.  But inevitably these moments of prayer have to come to an end, but the residue of praise remains.

Yes I am addicted.  I am not looking for a cure, just for more! How about you, are you addicted to prayer? How has prayer benefited you?

1 Thessalonians 5:17:  NEVER STOP PRAYING

 

 

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A GREAT DISTRACTION

It is so easy for me to get distracted.  I start cleaning my living room and go to the kitchen to get something and before you know it, I start cleaning the kitchen, forgetting about the living room.  I go on the internet to google great colors to paint your kitchen and also begin to look up colors for the closet.  There are times where I am “accidentally” distracted.  However, most of the time I am actively looking for a distraction in attempts to avoid something that needs to be addressed. 
 
 
The other morning I was exhausted and desperately needed to clean my house but I was LOOKING for something to distract me. I didn’t want to think, I didn’t want to move. Then it happened.  I heard the Holy Spirit whisper ever so gently inviting me be distracted by Him.  Now there is a thought for you!  What if in my moments of fatigue, desperation, and despair I run to the Lord to distract me?  This is certainly not a novel idea. The Lord has already made this invitation to all of us in Mathew 11:28, when He said, “…Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 
 
 
We look for distractions because we don’t want to deal with whatever is before us.  When I allow the Lord to be my distraction, He gives me rest and I don’t become overwhelmed or consumed by the very thing I am running from.  When I sit in His presence, I get refreshed, gain wisdom, find peace and abiding joy!  Very much a worthwhile distraction!

Answered Prayer

At the beginning of 2011, the cry of my heart was for the more of God.  I asked God to fill me with His spirit in a way that I had never experienced before.  One year later I can reflect and say that He did just that.  He didn’t quite answer my prayers in the way I had script it in my mind.  Yeah I got the more of God, but it wasn’t in a pretty package.  I went through a “winter” season in my marriage, a month’s stay in the hospital and 3 surgeries for my newborn baby, a long season of uncertainty, fatigue, helplessness, and TADA the result is the more of God.  Yeah, not a pretty package but   definitely the desired result. My marriage is now even stronger and my baby is healed; but even better, It was through my suffering that I came to a “sweet” place in God.  My suffering reminded me of my helplessness and the beauty of knowing Jesus!  IT was through my suffering that I saw Jesus even the more.  There is something about suffering that gives you the proper perspective, that is, if you CHOOSE to surrender and rely on God’s grace.  I will be the first to confess that coming to that place of surrender and relying totally on God’s grace is a lot easier in the theory than in practice.  Nevertheless IT IS POSSIBLE!  What opportunities are in your life now for growth?  Opportunities to be even closer to God and to look more like Him?  We don’t always look at sufferings as opportunities for growth, but they are. Embrace your suffering, something beautiful awaits you on the other side.
Romans 8:17 (NLT)
17 And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.
2 Corinthians 1:5 (NLT)
5 For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ.