Marriage Is hard work but it is worth it


My husband told me yesterday that he loved me more now than he did before.  He was falling in love all over again.  I blushed and told him the feeling is mutual.  Our marriage is in a good place.  This man is pursuing me like nobody’s business and I am LOVING EVERY MOMENT OF IT.  This has not always been the case.   During our marriage, we have experienced highs and lows, some deep wounds, shed many tears, spoke some very harsh words, had moments of unforgiveness and bitterness BUT God!

Marriage is hard work.  Period.   However as Tyrone and I reflect on all we have been through we recognize that it was NOTHING but the grace of God that kept us together.  Difficulties are a guaranteed part of life, but God promises the victory…ALWAYS.   These years have taught us that it is not money, beauty, or even good health that keeps a marriage together.  We have been challenged in all of the above departments.  After 13 years, 6 children, 2 miscarriages,  2 babies in the NICU, 1 income, and severe hair loss I can confidently say  that we are not enduring in our marriage.  WE ARE THRIVING.  How?  Pursuing God.  The difficulties that should have torn our marriage apart have produced a deeper love for God and for each other.

You see, even in all of our challenges and imperfections, God has given us the victory.  God tells a husband that he is to love his wife as Christ loves the church and gave himself for her.  This is  for better or for worse kind of love.  Not something a husband can do in his own strength.   Then for us wives we are told to respect our husband and submit to his authority. Respect him even when you don’t agree or can’t understand why he does what he does.  Submitting to Tyrone’s authority was not easy for me.  I was so dug in and very bent on doing things my way.  However as we both pursue God, He has given us the grace to do what seems impossible.  One of the reasons why I am falling in love with Tyrone all over again is that he now has a greater pursuit of God.  Knowing that my husband seeks the face of God brings me great comfort as a wife; trusting his leadership.  Submission then becomes a joy and not a chore.

Having a good marriage is not automatic.  You have to work at it.   But let me tell you it is absolutely worth it.  If you are on the brink of throwing in the towel on your marriage,  I want to encourage you to consider otherwise.  There is so much more to lose than to gain if you walk away.  I can confidently say that God is a redeemer, try Him with your marriage.  Take the steps necessary for  success.  Have you repented of your sins and given your heart to Jesus?  Are you connected to a church body?  Accountability and sound BIBLICAL counsel are necessary ingredients for a good marriage.  If you are in the Chicago land area and are looking for a church home,  I of course encourage you to join me at my church.  Oh and bring your spouse, even if you are mad at him/her.

Anika Jones

About the Author

Anika Jones

Hello there! I am Anika and I am definitely one of those. Passion oozes from every fiber of my being. I love to love. Sounds cheesy, I know, but I already told you that I am one of those kinds of people. Read on to find out some more interesting facts about me… 1. I love me some Jesus. I love to testify and if you hang around me long enough you may hear me bragging on the awesomeness of God, like how • He gave me a house I couldn't afford • Healed two of my children • Gave me a yes when I wanted to say no 2. I married a younger man…OK, not really. I was 23 while he was 22. My birthday is in April and his in August, but it’s our running joke. Nevertheless, after 13 years of marriage, I happen to love him deeply, and it still makes for a great story. 3. I have experienced the pain of two miscarriages and the joy of delivering 6 children (3 boys and 3 girls). I have both a bachelors and masters degree from the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign in Early Childhood Education, which I put to good use staying home with the kiddos. 4. I attend an awesome church where my husband is the Assistant Pastor. I am also a part of a not for profit organization that encourages women to walk in their God given purpose. 5. I am addicted to prayer. 6. I am considered nice by most, definitely extreme by design. I am politically incorrect. 7. I take the scenic route when telling a story, but I promise if you hang on long enough, I eventually get to the punch line. 8. I have great ideas but I sometimes procrastinate. Jesus and I are working on that one. 9. I am guilty of overthinking things (refer to number 8). 10. I am originally from Jamaica. Surprise…sunshine and coconuts are two of my favorite things. 11. I subscribe to the Paleo Diet and actually did a round of Whole 30. 12. I love to experiment in the kitchen. 13. I make an absolute mess when I cook. I try to clean as I go but get distracted with cooking. Go figure. (My family doesn't always enjoy my cooking but I make them eat it anyway.) 14. I love people and enjoy talking to them—even the weird ones. I tried being otherwise but found it doesn't suit me well, so I'm learning to be okay with being me. 15. I have traction alopecia and wear wigs and am crazy enough to believe God for restoring my hair follicles even though the doctors have said otherwise. 16. A movie is considered good only if it makes me cry...more than once. Sound of Music happens to be my all time favorite. 17. I really wish I sang well. I really don't. 18. Telling people about Jesus is my favorite past time. And if I'm not talking about Him, I'm talking about my family or some random health fact I learned on Google. 19. I love redemption stories and happy endings, that’s why I said yes to Jesus. Feel like you know me a little more? Well good! Please continue to stop by my little corner of cyber world. And do leave a comment. Remember I love to talk to people!

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lashanda Lewis

I love this post!! Amen and I am so happy to hear about godly marraiges thriving. God bless you both.

    Anika Jones

    Thank you!

Tamara

Great insight! I appreciate how honest and open you are about your marriage. I think that is sometimes the problem…we don’t admit our marital struggles. But in naming them, we can face and ultimately overcome them. Thanks for the reminder.

    Anika Jones

    You are welcome. I am learning that there is great power in being transparent. It helps to kill the flesh and help others in the process.

melanie

hey anika. i loved this post. i am not married, but i hope to be one day. these tips are very helpful and true. i know a lot of people that are married and i see it falling apart because they don’t have GOD first. i will share this post with a few of them. thanks.

    Anika Jones

    Hi Melanie! Glad to hear you like the post. I pray that the individuals you share this with are blessed and encouraged!

Shae

Very insightful

    Anika Jones

    Thank you Shae.

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