Identity Crisis: Becoming who God called you to be

My two year old was lovingly nicknamed Faithy by her four year old brother.  When asked her name, her response used to be FAITHY because that is what we called her. We had to teach her that her real name is Faith.  This may sound silly but I think it drives home a bigger point.  How many of us are going around answering to a name and taking on an identity and a purpose that is not ours?

Many in the body of Christ are experiencing an identity crisis.  We don’t know who we really are for many reasons.

Some of us have allowed our past mistakes to define us

We are not living in the reality that because we are in Christ we are new creatures

The old has passed away

EMBRACE THE NEW BLOOD BOUGHT YOU

And sometimes we are not as connected as we would like to think to the one who created us; the one who gave us our identity and our purpose.

We refuse to turn off the noise so we are unable to hear when He tells us who we really are.

We struggle with being comfortable in our own skin and we allow everyone and everything EXCEPT the creator to define us and dictate the plans for our lives.

Some of us have been called a different name for so long that we forget our real names which are

LOVED (Jeremiah 31:3)
ACCEPTED (Acts 10:34-35)

ROYALTY (1 Peter 2:9)
CHOSEN (1 Peter 2:9)

REDEEMED (Psalm 103:4, Titus 2:14)

Just to name a few.

But now is the time

THE TIME TO RISE UP AND AGGRESSIVELY CLAIM OUR GOD GIVEN IDENDITY!

 

 

Have You Embraced Your Purpose?

So you are going to use me huh?

I feel you Jeremiah and Moses

I got some excuses too

But what was that about Him being God and His thoughts not being our thoughts?

His ways not being our ways?

Truth is I got some thoughts

And ways?  Boy I got some ways to accomplish those thoughts

But then again, He didn’t ask for my opinions or my strategies

He tells me that I was called before I was born

He gave me a purpose that I can’t fulfill in my own strength

It used to be that when He told me my purpose I would get excited, really excited

Like special excited

But then I would think too hard and become deflated

No way can you use me like that, but wait you are God

I wasn’t really saying you can’t

I dug a little deeper and what my insecure heart was really saying is No way do you want to use me like that

No way do you think enough of me to promote me like that

To sum it all up…  No way do you love me like that

That USED TO be my response birth from an insecure heart

But this time around, it’s different

The chains have fallen, my ears are unclogged

I hear what you say

And confidence IN YOU rises IN ME

I grab a hold of every word and I MOVE

I RUN

I MEAN I FLY

No more hiding, that’s so yesterday!

Dear Daddy, I hear and receive what you think of me

I receive the plans you have for me

I.  RECEIVE. YOUR. LOVE.

LET’S GO!

STEPPING INTO MY DESTINY

Are you serious…rejoice in suffering?

 

Below is a journal entry I wrote shortly after our fifth child Isaiah was born.  A day after his birth, Isaiah had to be admitted to the NICU and eventually underwent three surgeries.  This was a season of intense pain for our family because every day was so unpredictable and his life fragile. Today, Isaiah is totally healed (yes God is still in the healing business).   I chose to post this today because we often look for God to do something new and tend to have spiritual amnesia and rob God of the glory and the praise He deserves for what He has already done.  Today as I reflect on what he did for our baby boy, I will PRAISE HIM!

Journal Entry from August 2012

Yesterday I was gripped with a sudden fear that Isaiah may die.  It pained me to think of this.  I tried with all my might to “pull” through this fear, but it was overwhelming.    I could barely find the strength to fight, I felt paralyzed. I rebuked the devil, declared that God had not given me the spirit of fear but of power love and sound mind, but must admit I was still struggling.  I also felt bad that I couldn’t be there for him at all times to just hold him whenever I wanted and whenever he needed me.   Isn’t this what a mother is supposed to do?  Talk about feeling inadequate and guilty.  As I went through the day, I could hear in a still small voice, “it pleased the father to bruise the son.”  I couldn’t remember where the scripture was taken from, but as I tried to sink in self pity, the scripture kept on ringing in my spirit.  It was puzzling to me because I could not comprehend HOW (not why) God could handle seeing His own son crucified.  I understood the theology behind it but as a parent I couldn’t understand the emotional aspect of it, you know, the feeling part.

Right before I went to sleep last night, I struggled to open the bible, but I finally did.  I turned to the book of James and came across James 1:2-4  “Count it all joy, (ANIKA), [ when you meet trials of various kinds, 3for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4And let steadfastness have its full effect that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. This was not even the scripture I was looking for but God knew it was just what I NEEDED!  Why is rejoicing in suffering such a resounding theme in scripture….AWWW!  What is there to be happy about when you are suffering?  I obviously missed that memo yesterday.   I didn’t want to hear what the scripture was saying at the moment but all I could do was smile because I knew what the Lord was speaking to my heart.  As I sat and reread and reread and reread that passage, a great peace came over me, a peace that exceeded anything I could understand (Philippians 4:7).  Amazing how the word of God gets to the heart of the matter and cause all fear to dissipate.

I can’t understand all the why’s behind the what’s during this season of my life, but I have to learn to not just accept it and say the Lord knows and He is going to bring me out, but I have to rejoice (not just lip service) even in this because it is ultimately about God getting the glory and Him perfecting me.

So this takes me back to the scripture that was ringing in my spirit yesterday, I looked it up and found that it was Isaiah 53:10,“But it was the LORD’s good plan to crush him and fill him with grief (Speaking of Jesus). Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have a multitude of children, many heirs. He will enjoy a long life, and the LORD’s plan will prosper in his hands. 11 When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish, he will be satisfied. And because of what he has experienced, my righteous servant will make it possible for many to be counted righteous, for he will bear all their sins.   God could rejoice in what Jesus went through because He knew what the end was going to be…my salvation, our salvation. Jesus’ story did not end in suffering, it ended in triumph!  God provided an awesome example for me to REJOICE IN THE MIDST OF THE SUFFERING.  It was easy for me to speak faith when all of this began. I thought it would end just as quickly as it started but this is not the case.  Isaiah is still in the hospital, and even after he comes out, there is much adjusting that we will have to do.  There is also another surgery awaiting him when he gets a little older to reconnect his intestines.   I don’t know all the details of Isaiah’s story and what God has in store for him, but I must learn to press pass my feelings and begin to rejoice as I am in the MIDST OF IT because in the end God and God alone will get all the glory!  Can I live at this place EVERYDAY as I wait for the full manifestation of Isaiah’s healing?  I pray for the grace to do just that.