I am bald but my baldness doesn’t define who I am. I got it. Today I embrace me, all of me. Laying aside the shame, the insecurities and I am choosing to begin the journey of being confident and joyous in who I really am, bald head and all. Today I did something that I didn’t think I would have had the courage to do before. I got up in front of a room of about 50 women and as the warm tears flowed down my cheeks I took off my wig and showed them ME . They didn’t laugh. They didn’t whisper and tear me down. Instead they cried. They cheered. They embraced. They praised God. They spoke life. THEY LOVED ME, the real me.
This was a defining moment in my life. I took a stance against the enemy and my actions screamed at him, letting him know that I choose to no longer be bound by the shame he wants me to have. In that moment I unlocked some of the chains from my past that still had me bound and I CHOSE TO walk in another level of freedom that Jesus has already purchased for me. In that moment there was a greater level of death to the old me and birth was given to something new. I am not saying that I will never wear wigs again as I wait for healing to manifest BUT I now have a new perspective!
I have always been overly concerned with what others think of me. I always have to put my best foot forward. I have to please. I have to be liked. Filled with pride. The same symptoms that lead to my very bald head. I began to loose my hair because I put too much stress on it with chemicals and weaves. When I first began to loose my hair, the thought of giving up chemicals was not even an option. Why? Because the real me of course was not good enough, not cute enough, no way could I let others see me in my natural state. Deep rooted insecurities birth from past experiences.
Hear me when I say that this is not about whether or not you should put chemicals or extension in your hair. Doing these things pointed to a deeper issue FOR ME (this may not be the case for everyone). When I was told by a dermatologist to stop putting chemicals in my hair, I scoffed at the idea. Go natural and show everyone me, absolutely not. Driven by insecurities and pride I continued the vicious cycle of destroying my hair follicles until they shut down and well, I was left bald with no other option but to wear wigs.
BUT MY GOD IS SO AWESOME. Through a chain of painful events, the healing process began. I have prayed and stood in faith believing the Lord to supernaturally restore my hair. Its nothing for God to just touch my scalp and have hair appear. However, I recognize that God is more concerned about me getting the lesson than the blessing. The blessing can be fleeting but once I get the lesson its lasting and can be applied to other areas of my life guaranteeing more victory. Unveiling my bald head today was necessary for my healing. It went so much deeper than taking off my wig. I was taking off the shame, the hurt from the past, insecurities, conflicting thoughts. I now have even more faith to believe the Lord for restoration of my hair because today inward healing took place and I rejoice!
What is it that you have to take off for healing to begin? A new level of freedom awaits you when you do.
So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free. John 8:36
About the Author
Anika Jones is a speaker and author of the book Lessons Learned Along The Way: A 40 Day Devotional. She blogs about faith and family at LivingForLater.com and posts weekly videos on her YouTube channels, Living For Later (@livingforlater) and Living Life Now (@livinglifenow). Anika loves speaking about developing intimacy with God and understanding who we are in Christ. She serves alongside her husband in ministry. They live in Illinois with their 6 children.